No matter what you think or say, no matter what your intention, it's a performance. No matter how much you get yourself into a certain mood, no matter how genuine the tears, you're still using a certain intonation, volume, lilt, whatever it takes to create a "spiritual" experience.
Let me use this verse slightly out of context and for my own cherry-picking purpose. Why not? All pastors do it.
1 Corinthians 14: 13-19
Therefore, one who speaks in a tongue should pray that he may interpret. For if I pray in a tongue, my spirit prays but my mind is unfruitful. What am I to do? I will pray with my spirit, but I will pray with my mind also; I will sing praise with my spirit, but I will sing with my mind also. Otherwise, if you give thanks with your spirit, how can anyone in the position of an outsider say “Amen” to your thanksgiving when he does not know what you are saying? For you may be giving thanks well enough, but the other person is not being built up. I thank God that I speak in tongues more than all of you. Nevertheless, in church I would rather speak five words with my mind in order to instruct others, than ten thousand words in a tongue.
Here Apostle Paul says when we pray aloud, it's not for our own edification but for the teaching and edification of the church. So, whether you are praying in tongue with an interpreter, or praying to instruct the church, you are doing so with the audience in mind.
Performance.
I don't understand why you can't just instruct the church, or better yet, discuss whatever it is with the church, then have everyone pray individually? The idea of praying aloud or on behalf of creates a performance, and that performance looks and sounds different in different church cultures.
I will speak--hopefully words of encouragement and love and acceptance and kindness. But I will not hide my own intentions behind prayer as if it's God who is actually speaking through me. Because I don't know for sure if they are speaking through me, and I will not assume that it's not my own voice. If my words affect or touch someone, then great. But the problem with most Christians who "pray" for others, lay hands, etc. is that they say whatever is on their mind and insist we should all assume it was of God. I find it arrogant, and rather manipulative. Sometimes sinister.
I kind of like the way Catholics do it. They have a prayer already written. It's simple, and you pray that prayer aloud with others. You can feel whatever you feel, you can think whatever you want, you can pray other words if you'd like, but not aloud. You have to say the prayer with your community and you don't have to perform it. It's a nice alternative, though I'm not sold that it's the answer to the dilemma.
Oh, and one more thing. The 1 Corinthians passage I used is actually only supposed to be for men. Because a few verses later, Apostle Paul clarifies, "As in all the churches of the saints, the women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says. If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church." So, I guess I'll do just that. Thanks AP!
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